Dear Bunmi, my friend’s sleeping with my husband

Dear Bunmi, I am a mother of five children, and married for over 25 years.

Recently, I found out that my husband’s been cheating on me with his colleague’s wife, who is his boss’s daughter.

It’s been going on for years before I found out.

They even planned it so that my family, this woman and her brother became close family friends.

So close that her brother and my first daughter are currently going steady.

I can’t get over the betrayal of how this woman pretended to be my friend, while sleeping with my husband. My daughter and her boyfriend are already discussing marriage.

Unfortunately, I can’t visit them with my husband because of what’s happened and my daughter’s boyfriend told her I hate his sister – which I do!

This is all such a mess. My husband even gave me a sexual disease, but I’m alright now.

Dear Bunmi, please help.

Jennifer, by e-mail.

Dear Jennifer,

Will you ever get over this betrayal?

Staying in your marriage, but getting so stressed without doing anything about it will only make you ill eventually. 

You either have to put it behind you, or make a new life for yourself.

After five children, this other option might not be easy. 

You need to discuss  your daughter’s boyfriend’s hurtful remark with her. 

Do both of them know the depth of your betrayal?

Also, you need to talk to your husband and see if he can express his regret at what he did, which might help you get over the pain of the past.